


Leave Me to Hurt

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Aftercare, Consensual Non-Consent, Established Relationship, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Rape Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 19:03:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5939749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s no kind way to put it to someone that you want to be raped to feel better, but the Iron Bull has never once judged him for what he’s said or done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Me to Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo hello 2AM. This was done for a kink meme prompt that I copied and pasted into a word document and literally could not find again after I finished it. So, prompter, wherever you are, I hope you like this should you stumble across it? Even though it's not quite word for word what was asked for. And well, uh, to everyone else, sorry for being a p terrible person? lmao. 
> 
> In all seriousness though, I tagged this as best I could, but if you find something that I missed, please please PLEASE tell me. I'm still pretty new to Ao3 and not fantastic at using it, but the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable, and I know this is a very sensitive subject.

They have discussed this at length already.

This evening is not about his comfort. It’s about fucking the worst of the feelings away, about finding a way to make it seem less _wrong_.

It doesn’t usually feel like this, mind you, but everyone has their bad days.

Dorian credits the Bull with first understanding his needs. There’s no kind way to put it to someone that you want to be raped to feel better, but the Iron Bull has never once judged him for what he’s said or done. Wary, initially, of doing it himself - but entirely understanding, nonetheless. They have had their talks of consent many times, and Dorian knows his word and other signals to inform the Bull of his well being. There is a trust here that Dorian has never had with anyone else…

He almost finds it a little odd that asking Bull to rape him is the biggest sign of trust of all.

There is a certain protocol that they always go with - it’s not always something they can discuss at length, because when these moods hit Dorian all he wants is to be _forced_ , and talking often only makes it worse. But he’s good enough by now to be able to sense when these moods are coming on, and can make his way back to Bull in the tavern before a panic attack sets in to sit beside them and offer their coded phrase:

“Bull, remind me again what ‘kadan’ means?”

It is both a question and a reminder - Dorian knows _exactly_ what kadan means, but Bull takes comfort in reminding him of it before their most intense scenes. To anyone else, it sounds like Dorian asking for praise and attention, which is good because neither of them particularly want the rest of the Inquisition asking about _this_ part of their sex life.

“Kadan. It means ‘my heart’.” Bull looks at him with his one eye and nods in understanding. Dorian beams at him, preens a bit, keeps up an act of composure as he leaves the tavern. From here, he hurries back to his room with some excuse or another for any who try to stop him. In a few minutes, the Iron Bull will join him there.

In their play, Dorian is still Dorian and Bull is still Bull - no fake names or identities. He wants to be himself, and has never liked the idea of anyone else but Bull doing this sort of thing to him when they do it. When he pictures it in his mind, it’s always been faceless men with generic voices, angry and rough but always wanting, men who _desire_ him. The Iron Bull is also a man who desires him - but a man who loves him, as well, and Dorian doesn’t at all mind replacing the men in his fantasies with his Qunari lover.

He thinks on this as he prepares himself thoroughly, knowing the Bull will wait long enough for him to have done so. He knows he won’t want to wait for Bull to do it, and so they have worked this out in their arrangement. When he’s finished, he puts on his clothes and puts his things back where they should be, leaving the room looking as untouched as it did before.

Dorian sits at his desk this time when he waits for Bull, starting to pen down some thoughts he’s had about magic theory. They aren’t important, or even coherent, but it’s something to do with himself while he waits. Waiting is always the worst part.

He never hears the Iron Bull coming.

Even the door opens and shuts soundlessly, and Dorian isn’t aware that the Iron Bull is in his room until he notices a shadow on his desk that wasn’t there before. He startles a bit and flinches when the Iron Bull grabs him from his chair and forces him to a stand, a cold, unnerving smirk on his face.

Their play has begun.

“Working on something, Dorian?” he purrs, and Dorian might feel attracted to it if he weren’t so startled.

“What...what are you doing in my quarters?” It’s the only thing Dorian can think to say, his stomach dropping even as he tries to smile back at the Qunari. “You could at least knock. I understand how hard I am to resist, but there’s no need to drop pleasantries just to--”

“Shut up.” The Iron Bull spins and shoves him back against the wall, still smiling at him. Dorian chokes on whatever he had thought to say next, swallowing his words and meeting the Iron Bull’s one eye. “Hard to resist is right...you go around everywhere dressed like that, you’re practically asking for it.”

“Asking for...I _beg_ your pardon?” He grimaces now, glaring at the Iron Bull and pushing at his hands. “If this is some odd Qunari way of propositioning me for sex, the answer is _no_. Release me at once.”

“What are you going to do if I don’t?” The Bull leans in, pushing Dorian’s body against the wall and whispering into his ear. “I like it when they fight. C’mon, struggle a little more. You know what I want…”

“I believe I’ve said _no_ ,” Dorian repeats firmly, trying to fight off the fear that’s beginning to eat at his stomach. He kicks his legs out at the Iron Bull and winces when the Qunari pins him to the wall with all his weight, one hand at his throat.

“See, the thing is, I wasn’t asking.” The Iron Bull keeps him pinned there with one large hand to his throat, just enough to restrict his breathing, and slides the other down to his crotch. Dorian’s eyes go wide with terror, squirming to get the Bull’s hand away from him.

“What are you-- Bull, _stop_ , stop this at _once_ ,” he says as firmly as he can manage around the hand that lightly chokes him, sheer willpower the only thing keeping the quake out of his voice. “Let me go you _savage_ , I don’t want this!”

“I could care less about what _you_ want. I’m thinking about what _I_ want.” Bull pulls back from his neck to meet his eyes, and the smile he had before is gone entirely. It sends a shiver through Dorian - and not the good kind. Something dangerous glimmers in Bull’s eye as he gives Dorian’s cock a little squeeze through his pants. “You ‘Vints have all these fancy belts and buckles and leather all over your clothing...but _you_ always seem to wear shit that puts your junk on display. Belts, leather, bells and whistles eeeverywhere but your crotch. Just thin fabric there. Something to draw the eye. Think I didn’t notice?”

“I don’t have to answer to this, put me _down_.” Dorian starts reaching for his magic, deciding that fire will best scare the Iron Bull off...and stops all at once when he feels cold steel on his neck in place of the Qunari's hand.

“You’re going to shut up and take what I’m offering you, or I’m going to slit your throat.” The threat is so very real, and Dorian always _knew_ it might come to this - that the Iron Bull was more violent than he let on, that he would turn on them all at a moment’s notice - but never in this way.

“You’re a monster,” Dorian manages through gritted teeth, trying to hide how short his breath has become with his fear. “You can’t possibly mean…” But the knife is insistent and sharp on his skin, and Dorian knows that Bull means every word. “Please…”

“Mm, I'm liking the begging. Could do without the rest.” The Bull met his eyes, knife never moving. "On your knees. If you try and use any magic, you'll be dead before the word 'escape' can cross your mind."

The knife is finally pulled back, and Bull shoves Dorian to his knees unceremoniously, freeing his oversized cock from his hideous pants and looking down at Dorian distastefully. "Get to work."

Dorian is still wary, staring up at Bull with newfound distrust and anger. "How _dare_ you..." he starts, flinching when Bull raises the knife again.

"Talk again. See what happens," Bull threatens lowly. The fear in Dorian’s eyes is almost tangible, and with a choked noise he finally reaches up with shaking hands, hovering close to the Bull without touching him.

He leans in a bit, turning his head away the closer he gets to the Iron Bull’s massive cock. Dorian takes a breath and unwillingly gets the scent of Bull - heady and musky and all too much for him in this moment.

“W-What…” he starts, wincing when the knife flashes all too quickly. “What do you want me to do to you!” Dorian spits out hurriedly, before the Iron Bull can hurt him.

“...” The knife lowers, thank the Maker, and Dorian turns his eyes up to the Iron Bull’s. “Use your mouth. No teeth. Hands for whatever you can’t reach.” Dorian gets an idea - maybe he can keep asking questions, and the Bull will be distracted enough to… “No more stalling. Do it _now_ or I cut you to ribbons.”

It takes Dorian a moment to realize that the knife was never actually put away, but kept in the Bull’s right hand, just out of sight where Bull could easily make good on his threats. He shivers a little, closes his eyes, and...finally, finally, forces himself to get to work.

The Iron Bull is too big right from the start, Dorian just barely managing to open his mouth wide enough to accommodate the head. His jaw aches already from the strain, something he knows will only worsen with time, and the taste is enough to make him nearly gag. It’s difficult enough without accommodating the Iron Bull’s demand for no teeth, yet somehow he’s managing.

He curses himself, dread burning in the pit of his stomach as he attempts to swallow around his girth, feels the Iron Bull’s pre-come on his tongue, hears the Qunari groan above him. He finally forces himself to open his eyes, hands coming down on the Bull’s cock to stroke him. The sight of the Bull above him, watching so intently...shame writhes and twists in his stomach, and it takes all of his willpower to fight off the instinct to struggle. Struggling will just earn him the knife again, he’s certain.

The Bull seems to know that Dorian has given up fighting and relaxes the knife a little, free hand fisting into his hair as he pushes him down a little. Dorian gags, coughing helplessly around his cock, but the Iron Bull doesn’t relent and only pushes him harder. Dorian can hear his quiet laugh, his fingers running through Dorian’s hair as he tries to regain himself, tries not to keep choking around the Bull’s dick.

“You take it well,” The Iron Bull comments, his tone easy now that Dorian is cooperating. “I was expecting a little more screaming, to be honest. Glad you’re not, though. Didn’t want to scar up that pretty little face of yours…” He sighs and starts moving Dorian’s head up and down on his cock without regard for him, and Dorian lets out a helpless whine as he’s repeatedly choked. His jaw is sore and his eyes are tearing up, but that isn’t stopping the Bull, who seems pleased by the fucked out look he’s putting on Dorian’s face.

Dorian starts to writhe and twist as it gets harder and harder to breathe, the bitter, salty taste of the Bull’s precome doing nothing to ease his nausea. The Bull pulls him off suddenly with a _pop_ , and Dorian stares up at him blearily, a bit dizzy from the Iron Bull’s roughness. There’s a trail of precome still going from the Bull to his lips, and he grimaces when his own cock twitches from the sight.

“Enough,” Dorian pleads, voice made hoarse by having his mouth fucked raw, but the Bull only smiles down at him - unkind and savage, nothing at all like the genial grins he’s given to the other inner circle members at the tavern.

“Keep those hands moving,” Iron Bull orders, and Dorian whimpers as he obeys. It’s that or be killed, and for all his bravado in any other situation, he _is_ afraid to die. “So pretty. Should have done this a long time ago...but, we can make up for lost time now.” And Dorian can’t stop the tears then, a tiny sob choking out of his throat as the Bull pushes his cock to his swollen lips again. He gets the message and starts licking at the head, tears streaming down his cheeks steadily as he squeezes his eyes shut. Maker, let this be over soon…

He is given this small mercy, for the Bull moans above him and tightens his hold on Dorian’s hair. “Yeah, just like that,” he growls. “You keep that up, and I’ll…” He hears a hitch in the Bull’s breathing, a gasp, and then there’s come on his face. Maker, there’s so much of it, too. The Bull drops his hair at last and Dorian scrambles away to the wall, whole body shaking as he wipes at his face with his robes.

The Bull hasn’t moved from his spot in the center of the room, and Dorian flinches slightly when he finally looks up and sees the Bull’s eyes. The Qunari looks ready to kill, and Dorian fears for a moment that it wasn’t enough, that he’ll still put the knife to use and…

“We’re not done yet.” That savage smile spreads over the Bull’s features again, and Dorian presses himself helplessly against the wall as the Bull steps closer. “Oh, I like that. That’s real cute, Dorian. What are you gonna do, throw yourself out the window?”

That gives Dorian pause. His eyes flick up to the window just behind him, and he wonders...he’s never attempted to cast a barrier in midair before, but it’s worth trying given the alternative. The Bull seems to realize where Dorian’s train of thought is going the instant there’s silence between them, and he shoots forward just as Dorian pushes himself to a stand and reaches to open the window frame.

His fingers just barely make contact before the Bull has grabbed him and literally thrown him onto the bed, pinning him down with all his weight and pressing the knife against his throat again.

“ _No_!” he howls, fingers clawing at the Iron Bull’s broad chest as he struggles beneath him. “No, no, no, let me go you _beast,_  I don’t _want_ this!!”

The Iron Bull doesn’t budge, only pressing harder against his throat. Dorian can feel some pain blooming there and sobs again.

“That was clever,” the Bull growls. “Too clever. It’s my fault for giving you ideas, though…”

“Please,” Dorian whimpers, crying out when the Bull grabs his robes with his free hand and tears them off at the front. “Maker, _please_!”

“Mhm, that’s good,” the Iron Bull practically purrs as he runs his hand over Dorian’s chest. “Quit acting like you don’t want this.”

"K--" Dorian starts, choking to a stop when he remembers the knife...but Bull has stopped suddenly, entirely frozen and unmoving, and Dorian realizes what it could have sounded like. It can't be helped. Bull still cares, and pays far more attention than anyone else ever has. He takes a deep breath and speaks again, his tone steely. "K-Keep your hands off of me, I _don't_..."

Bull visibly relaxes, sensing the misunderstanding and accepting it. Then the Bull's hand is on the hem of his trousers, and Dorian hardly has time to get another word in before they're being torn off of him as well.

"So bossy," The Iron Bull chides. "You act like that on the field, too. Brats like you need to be shown their places."

“Please, stop,” Dorian begs, but the Bull is ignoring him in favor of stroking his own prick again. He leans down, moaning against Dorian’s shoulder, and Dorian hiccups slightly with his fear as he realizes that he’s getting aroused from it, that the Bull is turning him on.

“You like it,” the Iron Bull accuses him, taking both of their cocks into his hand to stroke them both. “You try and fight, but I can see it. On your face, in the way your body moves...I’m gonna fuck that tight little ass raw, make you scream my name when you come.”

“Fuck…” Dorian bites his bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut as he tries not to let the Bull’s words get to him. There’s heat pooling quickly in his stomach, fear mixed with arousal, and Dorian is too dazed to let either one win out. He whines when the Bull licks up the side of his face, staring at him with shock and anger. “W-What are you doing?!”

“Still had some of my come on your face.” The Bull grins savagely, leans in closer. “Here, taste.”

Before he can argue again, the Iron Bull has captured Dorian’s lips in a hard, firm kiss. He groans, pushing at the other man’s chest with his hands and sobbing again when all it earns him is a laugh. He can taste the Bull already, and the addition of his kiss isn’t helping at all, Dorian growing dizzy with all of the sensations. He sighs weakly as he realizes that he’s already hard, the Bull removing his hand and pulling away.

“Good boy,” the Bull purrs. “Isn’t it nicer when you don’t fight back?”

“Please,” Dorian says, trembling a bit. His face is burning with humiliation, shivering when the Iron Bull just stares back at him. “Please, I can’t…”

“Shhhh.” The Iron Bull kisses him again and Dorian whimpers into it, flinching when he feels the Bull repositioning himself, huge cock rubbing against his entrance. “You can. You’re going to take it, and I want to hear you screaming. Remember what I said about conquering you?” Dorian hiccups at the sensation of Bull’s cock twitching against him. “I’m going to make good on that promise…”

“N-no, no…” Dorian’s voice chokes to a halt when the Bull pushes in at last, the head of his cock sliding in easily. He cries out, whimpering and squirming as the Iron Bull stares back at him, a pleased, ferocious smile on his face.

“That’s right…” The Bull chuckles softly, leaning in and biting down on Dorian’s shoulder. “Keep screaming for me…”

“A-Ah…!!” Dorian can’t keep quiet then, his voice going hoarse as his screams escalate in volume. The Iron Bull is taking his time, savoring every moment it takes to slide into Dorian, and by the time he’s all the way in Dorian can do nothing but sob against him, fingers digging into the Bull’s back as his hips twitch, balls snug against Dorian's ass.

“See? All the way in already…” The Bull pulls back, licking his lips. “You took it so well, too. Now comes the fun part…”

He starts thrusting then, hard, rocking motions that leave Dorian breathless and gasping. He can’t breathe, he can’t think, and the Iron Bull is all around him, hands pinning Dorian to the bed even as their hips slap together. It sounds obscene, skin against skin and his screams filling the room with every passing second, but it only spurs the Bull on further. He attempts to breathe in, nostrils filling with the scent of the Bull as he grunts over him, everything about him animalistic and rough in that moment.

Every snap of his hips is more violent than the last, and Dorian can feel heat curling through him, sliding between his legs and burning in his stomach, so close…

“Please, please!” Dorian cries, and he’s not sure what he’s even begging for now. For Bull to stop? For this to end? But it feels...Maker, he hates himself for thinking so, but it feels _good_ . He feels satisfied and full in a way that he hasn’t in a long time, his pleasure at an all time high. He sobs and screams some more, hoping it will drown out the part of himself that’s still shouting _yes, more,_ and the Bull thrusts in harder, faster, squeezing his hips so hard that Dorian is certain there will be even more bruises by the time he’s done.

“Shit, Dorian, you feel so good,” Bull moans, biting Dorian’s neck and laughing softly when Dorian groans at the sensation. “Gonna fill that tight ass with my come, scream my name baby…”

“B-Bull!! I-Iron Bull!” Dorian shouts, fingers still clawing at his back and leaving marks. He can’t bring himself to care as he crests over the edge, sobbing and begging mindlessly as the Iron Bull continues to fuck into him. A few more hard, deep thrusts, and the Bull is coming as well, letting out a long, low groan as he presses his hips flush against Dorian’s and spills deep into him. There’s so much come, maker, Dorian can feel some spilling out of him even with the Iron Bull still inside of him. He shudders, sighing deeply as the Bull lies down against him, all of his weight almost too much after everything else.

“Nice…” The Iron Bull is staring at him with that one good eye, kisses his cheek softly. Dorian wonders dimly if he looks as well-fucked as he feels...he pulls his knees to his chest, shaking his head and trembling a bit.

"Please," he whimpers. "No more, Iron Bull, no more..."

"Yeah, that. That's real cute. Like the way you moan, too...we’ll have to do this again soon.” He grins savagely and pulls out of Dorian slowly, staring at his hole, now dripping with his come. “Keep your door unlocked from now on." It's a threat, not a suggestion, and as the Iron Bull slips his pants back on, Dorian can't help wondering how soon 'next time' will be. He leaves as silently as he came, giving one last glance to Dorian's wrecked body before he slips out of the room, not another word shared between them.

Dorian sits there, mind still hazy with the afterglow. He realizes he's still shaking quite a bit as he wipes the tears from his face, jaw clenched. The Iron Bull is...he's...

He's rushing back into the room _much_ too quickly for Dorian's liking, nearly collapsing into the bed as he pulls Dorian into his arms.

"Ugh, you're _supposed_ to give me more time to wallow in my own misery afterwards," Dorian manages, sighing as Bull sits him up and starts to clean his face.

"You were crying more than normal, baby. I was a little scared." Bull sighs, looking him over. It's finished now, and Dorian is willing now to let Bull pamper him, the Qunari still a touch shaken after the intense play. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

"I feel fine," Dorian says, keeping his tone gentle. He knows this isn't always easy for Bull, even though they both consent fully to it, and willingly gives himself over to the Qunari's ministrations. "Nothing hurts terribly, I'll probably only have a few bruises. I didn’t mean to scare you. Perhaps I got a bit more into it than I thought I would…”

“You’re not alone,” Bull says, wiping Dorian’s face tenderly. “I get into it, too. Doesn't help that you're a good actor...I just worry that I might be really hurting you. More than we agree on, I mean.”

“No, no. This is all good. Although, you did bite my shoulder a little hard. Nothing that I think will last, but it wasn’t what I had expected..."

"I'm sorry." Bull leans in, kisses the place where the bite mark is still prominent. "I won't next time..."

"No, I liked it. I'd just prefer a little more warning in the future, if possible. I was expecting you to hit me more than bite me..."

"I'm still not comfortable hitting you just yet." Bull's pressed his forehead to Dorian's chest now, holding the other man in his lap. "I like spanking you, but slapping you is still out of my comfort zone."

"I understand. We don't ever have to do it if you don't want to. This...all of this, it's quite enough for me." Dorian kisses the top of Bull's head, his heart swelling. Bull always does this so willingly, and takes care of Dorian physically to boot, but he knows how demanding it can get on his lover and likes to remind him when it's all over how much he loves him...he wants to take care of Bull just as much. “Are you alright? This wasn’t too much, was it?”

“No.” Bull laughs quietly. “No, it was pretty good. Definitely not too much...I’ll admit, it helps me get out some of my underlying violent shit, too. This works for me if it works for you.”

“It works for me quite well. And we have our safeword if that ever changes,” Dorian says, more for Bull’s sake than for his own. He knows it, but he also knows that Bull likes hearing it...his heart swells with love at the thought. Even trusting Bull to do this for him, _to_ him, Dorian likes knowing that Bull trusts him too. Trusts him to use their safeword, to be honest with him. He closes his eyes and leans down, resting his forehead against Bull’s to meet his eyes. "I love you, amatus. Thank you for helping me."

"Yeah." Bull takes his hand gently. "Always, kadan."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Once again because it bears repeating, I tagged as well as I know how, but I have no beta or anything, so please tell me if you see anything that's wrong or that needs tagging. Thank you!


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